The meaning of existance
by Rynx- Too- Genki
Summary: Sakura has magic but only a little. Her powers become uncontrolable when she hears about the death of her boyfriend. It makes her invisible. When she meets Syaoran li the only one who can see her. Will she fall for him? sxs
1. Betrayal

Sorry it is short! I will try to make it longer next time.

Betrayal

Sakura was eating her dinner with Touya. Her dad was on an expedition. Sakura was Psychic. She had kept her abilities a secret so that people would not bother her. Her boyfriend Shu Xi (gentle, kind, fair, royal or imperial is the meaning of the name. An: It is in Chinese.)

We were in love. He was the only person I had ever told about my powers. Not even Tomoyo knew. Tomoyo is my best friend... But I can't tell her. She would probably scream 'Kawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' I really could not bear it if she dressed me in more silly costumes than she already makes me wear.

"Ring!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I've got it Touya." I told him getting up and running to the phone.

"Moshi moshi! (Hello) Kinomoto residence!"

"Is this Sakura?" I heard a lady ask.

"This is her speaking."

"Sakura... I am afraid that a boy called Shu Xi (said like swear-shi) has been in a car accident. Rumor has it that a girl around your age with purple hair and eyes was seen forcing Shu Xi to swerve. His car over turned and rolled down the hill. The car exploded flinging Shu Xi onto the road. A kind citizen phoned the ambulance and police. We found your number inside his wallet. Please can you tell me what was your relationship with Shu Xi? It would help us find out who the murderer was."

"I...I...I...Was his girl friend."

"I am so sorry...is there anything I can do?" The ladies voice sounded sympathetic.

"No...I am fine..." I struggled to hold back tears.

"Thank you for your cooperation." The lady put down the phone.

"Shu Xi is dead..."

'Why would anyone want to kill Shu Xi? That description is so familiar... Purple hair and eyes... Tomoyo! She is the only one in Tomeda with that description. Nande? (why) Nande? Unless it was me she hated...'

I sunk to the floor. My Psychic senses wild. I felt myself disappearing.

'If I wasn't here this wouldn't have occurred. It is all my fault.'

'If only I had never existed...'


	2. The new life of Sakura Kinomoto

The new Life of Sakura Kinomoto

'If only I had never existed...' Sakura curled up in a ball.

'How do I tell his parents... How can I? I can't stay here they will look for me here... I have to go. But where can I run? Hong Kong! No one will look for me there! I still have some money I could take it with me and live by myself.' She started to count mentally how much I would need.

'I guess I will have to take my life savings... I better write to Touya now that I am disappearing...' She quickly made a note to Touya:

_Dear Touya,_

_I love you and even though you call me kajiuu (monster) all the time words cannot express my love for you. I am running away. Tell Otou-san (Father) not to worry about me. I can't tell you where I am going. Or why though, you will probably find out in tomorrows newspaper. Don't look for me._

_Love,_

_Sakura_

She stared at it reading it over. Placing it next to the picture of her okaa-san (mother) she fled.

'How should I get there?' she thought starting to ponder.

'I know! I will concentrate all my power into this transportation spell. I hope it does not drain me too much.'

Grasping all herpower and energy she focused it into the spell. Life as she knew it would change with the meeting of Syaoran Li.

She stared at her new surroundings. There were many low buildings and billboards. (Billboards are like big signs. An: For people who know what billboards are don't say everyone knows. People in Singapore don't know what billboards are. This is so because there are none.) She felt herself becoming completely invisible.

She stared as her eyes rested on a huge mansion. She reached a hand out to stop a person to ask whose mansion that was. The person ignored her gesture and didn't flinch when she waved my hand in front of the person's face that still did not respond.

Sighing she retracted her hand knowing that she was invisible. She crept into an alley near the mansion.

She sat in the corner and settled down. She began to cry tears of sorrow. They flowed freely down her cheeks. She let them knowing that no one would see.

'I promise. I promise to myself that I will never ever let anyone become close to me ever again. So that no one will feel pain... I deserve... I deserve to die.'

This is the new life of Sakura Kinomoto.

A small crunching sound was heard. Sakura twisted her head and got up in response.

"Who are you?" she heard a man's voice ask. Sakura crept past him knowing that he wouldn't see her.

An arm was placed in front of her.

"I asked who you are." She looked straight into amber eyes.

"You can see me?"


	3. Trickery

Sorry! My computer broke down!

I will answer any questions you have for me! Please review!

Reviews:

Zucool: Sorry! I will try to make it more descriptive. In what way is Sakura odd? Thanks for reviewing!

Thousandbirds: Thank you sooooo much!

C.T: Thank you my evil best friend!

Sakura12: Thanks!

Sweet-But-Clueless: She can't do spells. If she does even a minor spell she has to use all of her powers and energy to do it. She also does not own the cards.

Deadsakurastar: I will!

Schoolqueen: Yes it's him!

Kazumi Kairi or Kairi-chan: In my side of the world I made them both the same day! She ran away to escape from her problems and from people who would remind her about her boy friends death.

Nicky: Thanks!

On with the story!

Remembering what was left

"You can see me?"

"Duh! Of course! Do you think I am blind?"

"A…No… It's just… Um… normally everyone ignores me…" 'I hope he buys that!'

"Well… I would've ignored you to if you weren't in the alley at the back of my house." Syaoran Stated.

"That's you're house?!?!?!?" Sakura asked pointing to the mansion.

"Yea. I am Li Syaoran. Heir to the Li Clan."

"That name sounds familiar…"

"Obviously… The Li clan is the largest clan in Hong Kong. One of the only magic using clans."

'Magic users? No wonder he can see me.'

"You should go home. It is getting late."

"Sure. See you." Sakura waved to him and turned the corner. She patiently waited till he disappeared from sight. Sighing with relief she settled down in the corner of the alley and drifted to sleep.

_Dream_

"_Hello?" She saw a shadow and began to follow it._

"_You are Li? Why are you here?" She stared at him. He was dressed in a Chinese battling outfit._

"_Li?" The scene quickly changed. Sakura saw blood everywhere._

"_I'm scared."_

"_I'll help you." Li out stretched his hand out in front of Sakura._

_She reached out to take hold of his hand. Sakura screamed as a bullet struck him in the chest._

"_Are you alright?"_

"_Are you alright?" The voice echoed. _

Something shook her.

Sakura jumped up and faced a pair of amber eyes.

"What are you doing here? I thought you went home."

"Well you see… I came back to look for something…"

"And fell asleep?"

"Uh… Yes!"

"Okay… See you." He waved a goodbye. Sakura stared at him. He was so handsome. Something radiated from him that gave him a sort of glow.

"Bye Li…"

"Hey! I didn't catch your name." He said before turning the corner.

"My name is Kinomoto Sakura."

"Bye Kinomoto."

"Bye Li." I waved as he left. She began to feel that she was becoming visible again.

Sakura sighed and her stomach rumbled.

'I am so hungry… I think there were some shops back down that street.' She walked to the street and saw stalls brimming with food. She almost drooled because she had gone without food for so long.

She stared at a bun with began to bring back memories.

Flash back 

"_Touya! Can I get that bun?"_

"_No buns for Kajiuu's (monster's)."_

"_Sakura no Kajiuu (monster)!"_

_End flashback_

'I miss Touya… I think I even miss Touya calling me Kajiuu (monster).' I ran to the moneychanger.

"Can I change this to Hong Kong money?"

"Sure." He grabbed her money and gave her some Hong Kong money (Sorry I don't know what Hong Kong Currency is…)

"Thank you." She replied taking the money.

She walked over to an apple stall and asked to buy and apple.

"Here you go miss." He said handing her the apple.

"Um… Here." She handed him the money quickly.

"Miss… This is fake money…"

"Fake!?!" her heart stopped.

"Yes. I am afraid I will have to take this apple back."

"Ok." She handed it back and ran to the only place she could call home… The alley. The invisibility returned to her feeling her world crashing down upon her once more.

Sakura burst into tears. She covered her eyes with her hands. Her tears dropped to the ground.

'I am so stupid. I even got cheated. I am such an idiot.'

Sakura felt something licking her cheek. She looked up to see a black dog.

"Spinal down!" commanded a familiar voice.

"Li?"

"Hi Kinomoto. I thought I would meet you here again." He stared at her. His concern deepened.

"Why are you crying?"

"I… Its nothing…"

"It has to be something to make a cherry blossom cry."

"I can't tell you."

"You can trust me." He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

Sakura buried her head in his shoulder.

"Ihic ran away from homehic and I even got cheated of all my moneyhic I am so stupid!" Her tears wet his shirt. He wrapped his arms around her.

"It's Okay. You can stay with me. Everything will be all right. I am sure everything will be alright." He soothed.

"Everything will be alright." She repeated.


	4. Little feelings

Hi! My apologies for not updating for so long. My Local Connection was disconnected.

Enjoy!

Little feelings

"Everything will be all right." Sakura repeated.

Syaoran held Sakura close.

'I wonder why I am being so open to her… Why is it that I want to see her and be with her? Why is it I want to get to know her?' he thought.

'She doesn't have anywhere to go. I will convince her to stay with me! After all who can turn down an invitation from a Li!'

"Kinomoto?" He said staring down at her. Sakura had cried herself to sleep and was breathing steadily against his chest.

'I think I should carry her to my house… I hope she doesn't panic too much when she wakes up.'

He placed his arms under her legs and carried her bridal style. Calling Spinal he headed back to the mansion.

"Wei…" He said to the intercom "Open."

"As you wish master Li…" The voice replied. The gates to the mansion swung open revealing an immaculate garden. Syaoran walked up the pebbled path to the front door.

"Wei…"

"Of course master Li…" The door creaked as it opened to reveal a large room.

A chandelier was on the ceiling, the floor was marble and had a round table in the center holding a bouquet of flowers. There was a staircase at the back and two doors at the left and right of the room leading to different chambers.

Syaoran walked with Spinal toward his bedroom. The corridor was so long that it took half an hour to get there. He laid Sakura down onto he bed. He sighed.

'Sakura looks like an angel… Wait! Did I say Sakura? I meant Kinomoto!'

'**Did not! You like her!' **

'I do not! Who are you anyway?'

'**You know… The little voice in your head that you usually ignore…'**

'My conscience?'

'**Uh… Something like that…'**

'Oh no! I am going insane! I have officially lost my marbles! I am talking to myself! Do you know what this means!?!'

'…**That you're finally listening to me?'**

'No! It means that I am crazy!'

'**Could you like go bonkers later… 'Cause I am supposed to help you…'**

'Your really not helping…'

'**Fine! I'll just tell you! That girl… Sakura has something to hide… You should try to find out what. When she tells you comfort her… Okay? Trust me. It will help you.'**

'Is that all?'

'Yep. Pretty much…' 

With that the little voice was gone.

'What did my conscience mean? What could Kinomoto be hiding?' Syaoran thought to himself.

His stomach growled. He quietly exited the room after taking one last peak at his little angel.

(Sakura's P.O.V)

"Everything will be all right." Sakura repeated.

'I wish I had never existed… Everyone would be much happier if I was gone… I even troubled a total stranger… I bet Touya's worried about me… What about Otou-san? He probably is sick not knowing where I am… What about Shu xi 's Parents? How can I tell them that their son died because of me? It is all my fault! Why would Tomoyo try to kill him? He is kind and nice. Unless it was because of me?'

I felt like I was slipping away. I gave in immediately.

_(Sakura's dream)_

'_Hello? Where am I?' I stared at the Darkness around me._

'_You… You killed me!' She stared at Shu xi._

'_I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!' My tears rolled down my cheeks._

'_It is all your fault! If you were never born I would still be alive!' I broke down. I squatted down and hugged myself crying._

'_I want to disappear! I don't want to live anymore! 'I screamed._

'_You should! It was all your fault! Die! Die! You deserve to die!' Shu xi shouted._

'_I let you down… I am sorry please… Shu xi!' I called to him. He retracted into the darkness. _

_Another figure appeared. A female… lavender eyes and purple locks._

'_Why… Tomoyo why?'_

'_You were stupid and ugly! I hate you! It is your fault he died! Your face disgusts me!' Her eyes bore flames of pure hatred._

'_I wish I knew what you hate about me… I miss you Tomoyo… Why can't we be friends? Why can't everything go back to the way things were?'_

_Tomoyo began to fade away. I ran after my best friend._

'_Why? Nande? (Why?)'_

_The place around me began to fade. I dropped to the floor. My question echoed to me._

'_Why?'_

(Sakura's P.O.V)

I shot up like a bullet my eyes open wide. My hands flung up. I buried my face in my hands. Tears flooded my eyes. Heaving my shoulder.

I looked around myself. The room was a dark green and I was in a king size bed.

"Where am I?" I murmured. A door swung open and a figure walked in.

"Your in my house…" I sought haste fully to meet the gaze of the unknown voice.

Syaoran was leaning on his cupboard.

"You must be hungry… I brought you some porridge…" He pointed to the bowl on the bedside table.

"Um… You really shouldn't have gone through the trouble… Besides… I'm not that hungry anyway…" As if on cue her stomach erupted.

"Somehow I doubt that…" Sakura blushed at his comment.

After awhile of coaxing he managed to get her to eat the food.

Sakura smiled after tasting the porridge.

"My compliments to the chef." She mumbled.

"The chef thanks you." He replied.

"I really don't deserve your kindness…" Her eyes were downcast.

"Nonsense… You're the most wonderful girl I have ever met." Sakura blushed. She felt her whole body heat up.

'What is it I'm feeling?'

"I thank you so much for your kindness. You are a really sweet guy…" It was Syaoran's turn to blush.

'Why is it that I feel this way?'


	5. Learn to trust

Learn to trust

"Nonsense… You're the most wonderful girl I have ever met." Sakura blushed. She felt her whole body heat up.

'Why is he comforting me? What is it I'm feeling?'

"I thank you so much for your kindness. You are a really sweet guy…" It was Syaoran's turn to blush.

'Why is it that I feel this way? A way I have never felt for anyone else?'

"Do you know what time it is?" Sakura asked wondering how long she had been gone.

"I think that it is noon… Why do you ask?" He asked curiously. Her arm flung into the air

"No particular reason! I mean. Its just that…" She let her arms slowly fall. Why is he so easy to talk to? My words keep spilling out of my mouth like wild fire.

"I think that my brother and my father may be worried about me… I am such trouble! I can't go back and I can't stay here! And… I don't know what to do." Tears rolled down her cheeks. Sakura turned away from him, hiding them.

'Why is it that he cares? He acts just like Shu xi… My Shu Xi. The one I am betraying. How could I be falling for a guy I barely know?'

Syaoran's concern deepened. ' Why is she away from her family? I wonder what she could be hiding…'

"Kinomoto? I want to know why you can't go home." He stared at her. A lump resided in her throat.

'Can I tell him? Can I trust? Should I? Could I learn to trust another?' Sakura stared into his eyes.

_Flashback_

"_Sakura? Even if you don't trust everyone… Can you trust someone?" Shu xi begged with those bright blue eyes._

"_I…I…I guess I could…" Sakura looked deep in his eyes._

"_Can you trust me?" He asked full of hope._

_Sakura smiled._

" _How can I not?"_

" _Do you love me?"_

"_Of course."_

_Shu Xi embraced her. Sakura embraced him. _

_End flashback_

Many novels told her that when she found true love fire works would sound when the hugged and wedding bells would sound when their lips touched.

Sakura felt nothing. Some times she wondered if their love was true. She always told herself that she loved him and would never love anyone else. Maybe this was punishment from the heavens. To break her promise…

'Even if the heavens are against me I shall never break my promise. I will never fall in love again. Especially not with Li.'

(Rynx: How wrong you are… Muahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!! Who wants me to put them in a romantic position? Tell me in your review!)

'She seems to be in deep thought. Maybe I shouldn't have asked a question that she isn't ready to answer…' Syaoran thought.

"Its okay if you can't tell me. Tell me when your ready. There is no need to rush." Syaoran told her. She smiled.

'How did he know? How did he know that I wasn't ready to trust him?' she wondered.

'I wonder when she will tell me.' He thought.

'Can I trust him?'


	6. Expect the unexpected

Sorry I took so long to update! My thanks to my best friend/worst enemy for helping me type and re edit my story. Her pen name is C.T Saiyukily Twisted.

Please enjoy this story

Expect the unexpected

That day Sakura and Syaoran were walking in the grand halls of the Li estate. Though Sakura was awed by her spectacular surroundings, she would glance at the even more spectacular vision of Li and she would feel as if a sword had unconsciously pierced her heart, leaving her blushing conspicuously every few seconds.

Though of course, Li hadn't noticed at all (Come on! Can't you see? Look! Look! She's gone red again! Darn it! If only you yourself would stop blushing then maybe you could see HER blushing. How very annoying).

The entire place seemed to be very empty and devoid of all the warmth one expected in a normal home. Sakura shivered and hugged herself tighter.

Li stopped at another door and slowly turned the doorknob.

"This...is the ice-skating rink." A beautiful shining sheet of glass greeted their eyes, but Li seemed strangely down as he said this. Sakura saw this and grabbed his hand.

"Onegai…Can you teach me how to skate? I've always admired those skaters, it's as if they're dancing on air." Li nodded. Sakura smiled delightedly and pulled him toward the rack of ice-skating shoes. They took their size and sat down on the bench.

Sakura frowned.

"Kinomoto? Kinomoto, what's wrong?" Li asked. Sakura glanced sheepishly at him.

"Promise you won't laugh?" Li nodded.

Sakura took a deep breath.

"Um... I don't know how to tie this lace!" Li stared at her incredulously for a moment, and tried his very, very best to muffle his laugh, but failed and the held-back laughter came out as one loud guffaw. Sakura turned red with mortification and irritation.

"Hey! You promised!" She cried, flailing her arms about angrily, unfortunately looking rather like a boiled crab at that moment.

Li put his hands up in defeat and sighed, trying to get over his laughter (Which he finally did, having spent all the oxygen in his lungs laughing like deluded fool).

"Hai, hai...I'll help you tie it." He stooped down at her feet and began to tie her lace with professional expertise.

"Arigato, Li-san." Li blushed. They put their gloves on and got on to the ice. Sakura stumbled and hastily grabbed on to the railing for support. Her legs trembled and shook. The ice was slippery and the railing didn't prove much help.

Li's hand quickly shot out and caught her just before they fell. They were an inch apart. Li could feel her warm breath on his face. They froze for a moment then quickly backed away falling upon the frozen lake. 

Neither spoke, an eerie calm silence took over. Li finally spoke though his voice shook.

"I...I think we should go back to the room." Sakura nodded, her face still bright red.

She sighed, but she didn't move. Li got off the ice and watched as she sat her butt on the ice.

"Why are you still on the ice?" Li asked.

"Um...Li? I can't get off the ice..." Li sighed and grabbed her hand, pulling her up.

Unexpectedly she was lighter than expected and she was brought right into his arms. The force was so great that they both fell onto the ice, Amber met emerald, their lips touching....


	7. Reason's to never fight your conscience

Sorry for taking so long to update! I am having my exams soon so I've been doing revision. Along with watching anime of course!

Thank you reviewer Kazumi Kairi or Kairi-chan for faithfully reading all my stories (no matter how bad they were ))

VampireJazzy, gwyn15, kawaiisakura05, ravengoddess, Pinaygrrl, sakura12, Obscure Entity. For your reviews in chapter 6!

I'm sorry I cancelled all your morbid parts in chapter six C.t.

I have a forum page for anybody who is confused. I can answer your questions and/or reply as well as inform interested readers on upcoming chapters!

On with the story (It's a bit short today everyone...) Gomen minna-san… (sorry everyone…)

Reasons to never fight your conscience

Unexpectedly she was lighter than expected and she was brought right into his arms. The force was so great that they both fell onto the ice; Amber met emerald, their lips touching...

For a single moment they felt deep, indescribable warmth and a wonderful tingling sensation. From the pit of their stomach's it spread to their whole beings. Then… They realized what they were doing.

He tried to pry their fingers loose as they were entangled together. Once they had straighted up outside the icy rink Sakura turned slowly toward Syaoran and embraced him with a touch lighter than air.

Her voice seemed to be caught in her throat but she managed to squeeze out her words, her voice barely a whisper.

"Thank you Syaoran-kun." He was not sure what she was thanking him for. He twitched slightly.

"Um… I…" He scratched the back of his head trying to come up with a suitable sentence.

'**Compliment her!' **his conscience screamed.

"Your shoes… They're really clean!" His face paled as he noted her reaction.

"Um… Li?" The questioning look on her face gave away her answer.

"Are you feeling okay?"

'She must think I'm insane. Asylums look like a wonderful prospect right now.' He was sweating profusely. He tried desperately to think of something.

"Li? You haven't finished showing me the rest of the rooms." He blinked. Then he realized that she was trying to get a normal conversation going. He held her hand and guided her to the corridor.

"I suppose that we could visit the swimming pool next…" He pondered. Her face lit up as she heard the word 'swimming'.

"Honto ne! (Really!) I love swimming pools!" She exclaimed while waving her hands in excitement.

"I usually don't have time to swim but…" He looked at Sakura who was making puppy dog eyes.

"I guess we could today."

"Yatta! (Yay!)" Sakura felt the excitement bubbling in her chest almost ready to burst.

He tapped on a solid oak door at least twice their size. The door swung open instantly as if by command revealing a marvelous sight.

She felt as if she had stepped upon the sandy beaches of Hawaii. They had live palm trees, a pool the length of a football field, walls that were painted with the colours of the sky, beach chairs and a calm ocean breeze.

"If you're wondering about the breeze, it comes through those vents." He pointed to some metal vents on the walls above them. "Fuutie thought that the breeze would make the place seem more tropical."

"I like it. The breeze makes me feel free." She closed her eyes as she said this. Syaoran turned to her and was baffled to see the aura of a pshysic. His own aura was nearly undetectable for safety purposes, but her aura was only concealable as her emotions were. Her aura shrunk back noticeably as she opened her eyes.

"Syaoran? Can we go for a quick swim? Onegai.(please)" As if to shield himself he blocked his face with his arm.

"Onegai?" She pleaded.

He sighed. "Why not..."

Wei knocked and waited for the door to open automatically. He hustled into the room.

"Wei?" Wei 's face was creased in worry.

"Master Li it seems that master Eriol has arrived a month early and he's bringing Nakuru and Spinal Sun." Syaoran's face paled.

"Oh no."

"Not only that. Nakuru apparently fed Spinal Sun a lot of sugar so we will soon have a mini maelstrom within our compounds." Wei was looking depressed and Syaoran was sighing heavily while Sakura was utterly confused. She swiveled her head left to right just to keep up. She tugged Li's sleeve.

"Li? Who are Eriol, Nakuru and Spinal Sun?" She tilted her head in a timid fashion.

"Well… Eriol's my cousin, Nakuru is his family friend and Spinal Sun is his… Cat?" He scratched his head, he was not used to weaving lies on the spot.

'She is so going to notice Spinal's wings.'

'**I blame this on you. You had to not follow my advice.'**

'Advice! Compliment her! Is advice?'

'**It would have worked if you had actually said a proper compliment. Let's recap. You said, You're shoes… They're really clean!' **

'Stupid voice! Get out of my head!'

'Hmm… How about…'

"I don't care anymore!" He burst. Sakura and Wei staggered back at his sudden outburst.

'**Good work Syaoran. Now she thinks your mental and you talk to yourself!'**

'I hate you.'

'**Mean's I've been doing my job.'**

"It's almost time for dinner. I think that we should head down to the main house now." Wei suggested, leaving enough room for Li to compose himself.

"Sure!" Sakura grinned as Syaoran took her hand, stifling a blush.

"Let's go."


End file.
